Pesan buat abah.
Thursday, 11 February 2016
Abah,
masih ingat tak fav drink kita?
teh kotak bunga tu?
masih ingat fav food kita?
roti canai dengan gula pasir?
Abah,
mak selalu cakap bedak abah busuk
kelakar bukan sebusuk busuk bedak abah
itulah fav perfume iqa abah.
Abah,
ingat lagi tak dulu abah selalu datang rumah
nak mengadu pasal mak itu dan ini
sambil tu abah pegang iqa dengan adik.
Abah,
memang betul sudah hampir 7 tahun abah pergi
tapi abah rasanya macam baru semalam abah peluk iqa
rasanya macam semalam iqa borak dengan abah
rasanya macam baru semalam abah treat iqa makan roti canai tu.
Abah,
kenapa abah jauh sangat?
abah tak rindu iqa ke?
abah tak ingat kat iqa lagi ke?
Abah,
sejak abah pergi kan
banyak yang berubah iqa dah tak rapat dengan mak lagi
rumah kosong tanpa abah
rumah sunyi sebab tak dengar lagi bunyi radio abah
rumah tu dah lapang sebab kerusi malas abah dah simpan dalam stor
dah takde bunyi motor abah.
Abah,
lama dah iqa tak tengok abah
abah sihat?
iqa harap rumah abah yang sekarang
luas, terang, dan lagi selamat dari dulu.
Abah,
esok hari jadi iqa abah
abah ingat lagi tak?
abah malam ni jumpa iqa okay
jangan lupa usap ubun kepala iqa
lepastu cium tau abah
dan tak lupa jugak
abah kena peluk iqa kuat-kuat
dan cakap iqa kuat.
I love you abah.
Al-Fatihah.
old friend.
Monday, 18 January 2016
I cared.
I fucking cared so much that I stayed with you,
I stayed through all your shit.
I stayed even though you made me feel
Weak
Useless
And alone
But then I left
And you said I didn’t care at all
You said I never cared
You said I did way worse to you.
Who was by your side when you fell?
Who ALWAYS made sure you were okay?
Who stood up for you when no one would.
Me, me and me again.
But I had enough.
I’ve had enough of the posts about the ones that leave being the bad guys.
my man.
Wednesday, 13 January 2016
his attitude
his love
giving attention
treat me like princess
respect me as a women
make me smile
teach me to love myself
change my world
guide me
we are inversly propotional
but our love was infinity.
maybe we were too far from each other
but nothing could stop us from loving each other
but Allah's plan much better.
maybe yes
but maybe no
but whatever it takes
thanks to Him cause giving me a chance
to be loved by someone.
It's hard.
Monday, 21 December 2015
I want to be strong and weak at the same time.
to be strong and to stand up for myself.
To be able to walk away from things that
don’t benefit me.
But not so strong that I am not
weak.
I want to be able to feel emotions.
To love endlessly, to be scared and not be judged, to be kind and not seen as “weird”.
And to do those things, you need to be
weak.
I want to be weak where I am not being too
STRONG.
I want to be strong and not be
WEAK.
strong enough to let people know that I am not weak.
It’s hard
To find the balance between
strong and weak.
I want to be both.
It’s hard
because I want to be humble and
proud.
at the same time.
I don’t want to be too humble where I come off as
weak.
I want to be proud
to let people know that I am not a joke.
That I am power and that I am
accomplishments.
I want… everything
…to be seen as
Humble
and
proud.